A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect. Enjoy these!
The first three I can attribute to someone:
- - Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- - Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- - The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
- - If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
- - We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- - Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- - The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- - How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- - Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.
- - I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- - Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.
- - You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- - You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.
- - The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!
- - Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
- - Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
- - Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both
be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
- - Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to
- - To write is human, to blog is divine. (Okay, that one is mine)
Musings and meanderings from the Musical Gardener.